Whatever happened to Cartoons?

Obviously, I grew out of cartoons quite a while ago (two weeks to be exact), and don’t exactly go out of my way to watch them any more (unless it’s Family Guy or The Simpsons, of course). The problem I have (one of them anyway) is that I usually get in from work at about seven in the morning, so it’s either cartoons or listen to a news reader telling me who died that day – as you can imagine, quite often the cartoons win.
Anyway, I urge everybody who has the time to watch kids’ TV at some point this week because I want you to acknowledge that the standard of children’s entertainment these days has become absolutely dreadful. When I was younger, cartoons were completely brilliant; it was the era of ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’, ‘He-Man’, ‘Super Ted’ and ‘Count Duckula’ – classic stuff. And then when Nickelodeon began - well, don’t get me started - we were absolutely spoilt for choice!
These days, though, TV animation output is cheap, dreary trash. I feel sorry for the kids, and angry with the programme makers. Shame!

 

 

The PC Gypsies

Most of you will know that I frequently slag off political correctness, and this week there’s been much in the media about gypsy’s rights. In essence, gypsies think they should be able to continue to annoy the country in general by being allowed to camp in fields where people don’t want them. Their quest, I’m sure, is to make every town in Britain look like Shrek’s swamp which, although Shrek likes it, isn’t very nice.
Why has nobody stood up and asked, “Hang on a minute - balls to your ‘rights’.  What about our own?” It may well be classed as racist to have a dig at travellers nowadays, but they do bring it upon themselves, don’t they?
I’ve seen the disgusting way some behave themselves on holiday here every Christmas and New Year. They frequently wreck every bar they enter by fighting, letting their kids run riot and generally being obnoxious to everyone. I know quite a few travellers who are sound, down-to-earth sorts. Unfortunately, it’s those few bad apples that give the whole tree a very bad reputation.
If those of you rotten to the core want no backlash from regular hardworking citizens, maybe the simple answer is to modify your behaviour and the threat would then disappear. So, for the time being, I’d like to tell you where to put those ‘rights’. Maybe then you’d clean up your act.

 

 

Why I love Your Letters!

Firstly, I’d just like to give a small thanks to the head of the ‘Weston-Super-Mare Caravanning and Tourism Association’ for his reply in last week’s paper. It’s been absolutely ages since I’ve had a letter like that, and they always keep me entertained.
However, few matters did concern me - for example, his issues with muggers and pickpockets on the island. Amazingly, there are a few thieves in Tenerife, and if you get blind drunk and walk alone up a dark alley at six in the morning, there will be more of a likelihood of your getting robbed.
I’ve been pick-pocketed here, probably my own fault, but only once in 23 years. To be fair, he agrees that it happens everywhere. But it doesn’t strike me as anywhere near comparable to the average crime rate in, say, Birmingham or London…
Secondly, my roommate reliably informs me a train journey that he took a couple of months ago from Leicester (yes, the one in the Midlands) to London cost him a full £40. I’m guessing that, in order to be paying just £8, C.B. is either old enough to enjoy a pensioner’s discount or has had a leg blown off and shows his or her disabled person’s travel pass.
Lastly (and thirdly), I must point out that the reason I sound so self-righteous in my column is because I am - and it’s a pleasure to share the planet with C.B. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have had anyone or anything to laugh at all week (including the cartoons). Hope to hear from him/her soon, and I hope he/she likes this week’s diatribe (great word by the way).